Saturday, October 1st
I wake up at 6am, half an hour before I'd set my alarm to wake me. On the journey I decide to keep myself distracted rather than obsessively run my lines over and over. I rationalize this by telling myself that overdoing it might just fool me into thinking I don't know the lines and need even more time to prepare. Instead I'd rather assume that I'm secure, and any misgivings I may have are related to normal stress, rather than lack of preparation.
I am picked up at the airport by the company manager, and we drive to pick up the assistant director, buy some lunch and then we're off to Linlithgow. After settling into the venue, grabbing a much needed coffee, myself and the director set about going through my scenes at about 2pm. A couple of notes, a change or two, but we get through it in good time, and by 3.30 I'm released for lunch before the rest of the cast arrive at 4.30. We then all do a dialogue run, which the principals whizz through (in a double speed fast forwarded cassette tape fashion) only slowing down to do my bits at normal speed. They have good fun with it too, trying to trip each other up, taking advantage of the rehearsal being in a music room (the more obvious puns accented by a ba-dum-dum-tshhhh on the drum kit) and the jovial atmosphere helps me loosen up a bit.
At this point I have to say how grateful I am to the cast and crew for being marvelously supportive and helpful. I instantly felt I was part of the team and that the team was there to catch me should I stumble, but on the other hand had a lot of faith in me as well. Thankfully the dialogue run and short onstage rehearsal (dances, choreographed scenes and those with technical issues) go well and while not being overly confident I felt sure that although I may not give the performance of my life, I won't be an obstacle for the others and won't derail the show. I should also mention that I got heaps of support by way of email, facebook and text messages, all of which made me feel better about the whole thing, thank you all!
We wrap up rehearsal at 6.30 and the cast relax around the buffet that has been provided. I can't bear the sight of food, so focus on doing my pre-show pacing routine. Having been on my feet for over 12 hours I can feel the tiredness creeping in behind my eyes, but the mounting adrenaline is enough to keep it at bay, and come showtime I'm sure to be buzzing with excitement. Strangely, the director seems more confident than I do, and she decides to watch the show from the audience, rather than stay in the wings to be ready to prompt me, should I freeze. Oh well, I guess I have no choice but to be perfect...
Perfection is not achieved, of course, but the show goes well, with only one moment of slowing down to remember the opening lines of my monologue and one near-trip-up backing up upstage and forgetting there's a step there. These moments may stick out in my mind as MISTAKES, but as is often the case, they probably didn't read half as strongly as I fear they did. I also need to rethink my hydration strategy before my first scene, as I was not quite prepared for the heat and dryness onstage, which is not a worry one wants to be dealing with in an aria. Oh well, I'll know next time.
In the end it was great fun!
Also, I had let a couple of friends from Edinburgh know I was performing and they managed to make it, so it was lovely to get to chat to them after the show. Once they left, however, tiredness hit me like a sledgehammer. I tried hard to keep myself going at the post-show reception (wine helped) and the bus journey to Glasgow (beer just made me more tired), and after checking in to my hotel room and having a shower I was almost dead. I was however dying to tell someone about the day, and once I finally got the chance, recounting all the excitement over Skype just got me buzzing again, so it took me another hour or so to wind down. All in all, a 20-hour day, tiring, stressful, but exciting and rewarding. It is a shame about the circumstances which led to me performing (and I deliberately leave these out), but such is the job, and it's one I probably couldn't do if I wasn't excited and happy to be given the chance to perform...
Sunday, October 2nd
The day off. I'm informed I will be needed until Tuesday morning, with the decision about the show on Tuesday night still being contemplated by management. I meet up with Catriona to have a catch-up and yet again reminisce about Banff (one thing we both agree on, after the Opera as Theatre schedules, college, or any production schedules are going to feel like a walk in the park).
I then try and learn some new music for college, but my brain refuses to cooperate. My body also makes it clear that it would rather nap than look at music. In all fairness, I probably deserve to take it easy after yesterday, so I relax into a lazy day of window shopping, good food and crappy films on demand in my hotel room.
By the way, for anyone visiting Glasgow, I highly recommend the CitizenM hotel. Very modern, with a designer feel to it, comfortable and reasonably priced.
Monday, October 3rd
We head out for Stirling at 2pm and spend the afternoon and evening rehearsing with the orchestra. Up until now the shows had been with piano accompaniment, but the next 3 are with reduced orchestra, so the cast have to adjust and get used to performing with a conductor rather than the immensely flexible and forgiving pianists. The rehearsals go well and everyone is looking forward to performing in the MacRobert Centre, a nice modern venue with enormous wing space and fairly cool by theatre standards (Linlithgow was like a sauna in comparison). I say everyone is looking forward to tomorrow, I have as yet not received a clear indication as to whether or not I will be performing.
Tuesday, October 4th
In the morning the company manager informs me that I will indeed be going on tonight. I celebrate with a steak lunch and before I know it it's bus, venue, dialogue call, dance call, beginners' call, first half, interval, hell, and we're done. It's less stressful and much more fun this time round, and it's pretty amazing that I got to perform with the orchestra. It was a fantastic experience and I got to work with an outstanding group of people, to whom I'm grateful for all the support, encouragement and (to try out an Irish term) good craic.
My Scottish Opera debut behind me, Wednesday sees me fly back to Cardiff. It all seems a bit surreal now that I look back on it... better write it up before it feels any more like a dream that never happened.